Heart of a Random Lover

It will never fade, when it was never there. 

There will be none. For a crushed heart will always mind.

Little hopes to never hear. Only damn believer will tear. 

It will never fade, when it was never there…

When you’re mind works like a 24-hour food chain, you always think of everything and not just anything. Since I was, there’s always a maybe to anything I wished for to be there, to happen. It’s not actually a wished but something I wanted to wait for. A person who will never demand, a person who will never make me feel that I’m worst of the worst I am to him. A person who will dig in to the deepest reasons of my insensitivity, carelessness and silence. But maybe there will never be him, he will never come. A martyr for an executed soldier like me. Someone who will not cry out the me who seemed to be a masochist of  a fragile heart. Maybe he will not come, he will never come. The soul who will tell me that with every emptiness I made him be, he will always be filled because that’s not even a pinch of the love he has because a soul loves more than he loves his temple.

Maybe I’m too idealistic in a place for realist.

It will never fade, when it was never there. Expectations were never there. I didn’t set one. I don’t want to because I’m not a masochist, not executed and not idealistic. This will never fade because I did not build any of this in the castle of our kingdom.

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I’ve talked about the struggles of someone my age residing abroad to earn a living in my recent post. In the couple of days that passed after the publication and after reading the comments and emails I received, I felt that I also have to discuss (especially for the benefit of those who have plans to go overseas) the joys of being outside my mother country. Just like anything in this world, being abroad gets its fair share of sweetness and bitterness. Truly, every cloud has a silver lining.

1. You learn more about yourself. Even during the first week of living abroad, believe me when I say that you don’t only discover new things about your new country of residence. More importantly, you unravel more details about yourself that sometimes you never knew existed. It may be because abroad you are sometimes tested to your limits by being tossed…

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10 Tips to Resist Procrastination

First: Never Plan 

It never happens anyway, naturally. So just do what you can for the time being without thinking whether it’s a rush or not.

get over

Second: Alternatives

Yes, I said no plans but set deadlines. It’s not the same. Whenever we think of things we must do for the day, we all end up exhausted just by looking at it. Set deadlines of the most important things to do. Do not write everything. Prioritize just one or two.

The next thing is to set a goal. Just one random, simple, direct goal, and never think about the result. Normally people will think about what should be the result so they set goals. Too many that for us procrastinators are overwhelming, too idealistic. Just do what you have to do the way you wanted it to be. No to restrictions, take this as an alternative.


Third: Just do it 

Don’t think about why. Just work. Never think ‘is this right?’ , ‘I think they wont like it.’  80 % it will be the same product anyway.

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10 Awesome Reasons Why You Should Date A Nurse

I’m soon to be…

Thought Catalog

1. They’re natural caretakers

And I don’t mean that in a bad way. Nurses take care of people on a daily basis, it’s our job. If you get injured or get sick, you best believe that we would know what to do. We’re reliable in that sense.

2. .. and are compassionate

We are truly and genuinely concerned about you. I like to think that compassion is that “little extra” that makes us shine. We bend over backwards for the people we care about and give our 101%. It’s all or nothing. There is no halfway when it comes to this.

3. Keep calm and carry on

Nurses know how to think rationally during a crisis, and it’s infectious. It doesn’t specifically pertain to medical emergencies. If you were to ever panic about something, we can help calm you down with our super calming nurse powers and help you through…

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Anime Guys with Bandanna

In the real world, only a few could wear a bandanna without looking weird. I don’t know what’s the secret but so far in the anime world or with the anime I watched so far, this guys rock with bandannas. It helps create their character and adds individuality to their roles.

So two of them I knew were,

Lavi of D-Gray Man
Lavi of D-Gray Man
I’ve watched D-Gray Man way back 2009. I guess I forgot most of the scenes already but one thing is for sure. Lavi was my favorite character in that story. I usually liked the protagonist but Lavi’s charms and his hammer turned my way around. I think I should watch some AMV about Lavi. I miss fangirling him. ❤ Kawaii!
Touji Ato of Tokyo Ravens
Touji Ato of Tokyo Ravens
And here comes Touji Ato.  Actually, I just finished watching Tokyo Ravens yesterday and I still want more. Too bad for me, the manga translated available in manga-hosting sites are until chapter 25 only and on the anime that covers only 1/4 of the total no of episodes. Of course, thanks to the bandanna I recognized Touji easily. Isn’t he handsome? ❤ Touji may look handsome but one cute-dark thing about him is that he’s an ogre too.

Like this:

touji 2 touji 3 touji 4

So adorable and not only that, he’s smart and I guess he has no certain partner in the anime. He’s free! Hahaha!

I guess I ‘ll update this soon if there’s another character I’ll meet. Or you could me who else. I guess there are a lot of guys who wore bandannas that I haven’t watch.

Disclaimer: Images used are not owned nor created by me. It is only used for presentation/viewing purposes only for the reader. 

8 Reasons Men Fall In Love With Good Girls

A good girl deserves everything that is good.

Thought Catalog

ShutterstockBecause I Said So

While men always and will always like bad girls, the good girl is the one they fall in love with and commit to possibly for the rest of their life. Aside from the fact that good girls are a rarity, what makes them so irresistible and lovely that men feel compelled to surrender their freedom to them?

1. She’s loyal

Being faithful is very important to men and it goes beyond the sexual part: a good girl will stay by her man’s side no matter what. Life is a very dangerous adventure with ups and downs and a man can’t always be at his 100%. He can get sick or get involved in big troubles; during those times he won’t be as bold, dominant, sexy, reliable and powerful as usual.

Smelling the frailty and the open wounds, the vultures he usually protects her from will try…

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Koukou Debut

Koukou Debut. And while I’m writing this down, I can’t help but smile to the farthest side of my ears with the idea that once again I’m under the shoujo effect. I actually just finished reading the manga and it took me 1 day perhaps and what I regret about it is that, why did I even just started it now. Now that it is 2014 -_-.

Koukou Debut deals with a girl who wanted to find love now that she is in high school. One not so good thing is that she’s just not the girl who can be easily be noticed and her natural nature isn’t the girly-usual type. Personally I can see myself to Haruna. Why? I don’t know how to play baseball but I’m good with sports. Right now, I actually have a short hair. I’m also a bit of a gentleman with the fact that I’m a girl. And the best of all, I really wanted to have a boyfriend too. Never been there never done that. I was thinking that when I will I be able to get my own Yoh who will fall in love with me not because of what I look like but what I am. He’s just the sweetest guy. He’s cold at first but he’s actually really warm inside. I’m dying for a guy like that. (Sorry for my personal intrusions. It’s just that the manga really works for me.)


Well let’s talk about the best parts I’m most touched with.

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Special A: Last Chapter – A crazily happy ending?!

The feels. I really love special A too.

Hikari to Hotaru


Bawww. It’s the last chapter already T__T. It’s hard to accept that my favorite (believe it or not) series has ended. But yeah, things enter and go and it was time for S.A to go. Nevertheless, amidst the nostalgic theme of the chapter, it still remained funny – one of the good aspects that I like about this series.

I guess it was a pretty fair ending although it was hanging and open. Kudos for Minami Maki-sensei for finishing S.A! Can’t wait to see her upcoming oneshot 😀

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A speech for those named stupid people: The Smartest Stupid

I made this speech for our English class. This was the first time I made one and it made me realize that, when making one, it has to be something from the mind and heart. It makes it easier for the flow of ideas when you want to speak about something: what you hate or have observed. As for me, I hate it when people call or name someone stupid because I always believe that it’s a matter of understanding and purpose. That vague thought I have in mind is explained in this speech. And one more thing, I made this to prove that,

“those stupid-as-we-termed people are greater-than-what-we-thought persons.”

When we say someone is stupid, definitely they are not smart. According to the dictionary, they lack intelligence, understanding, reason or sense. And the way the society define stupid people is when they fail to understand/do a thing a normal person will do. After this speech, I will open your mind to what’s really inside a stupid person’s head and that what we actually think of them is the opposite of who they really are.

Take me and all of you as an example. Think of me as if I’m stupid for the rest of this talk and you would be the normal people I would commonly meet every day.

When there is an abstract canvass made by an unpopular painter, you see it as just a painting but I take it as an art on my own sense of perplexity. I explain the odds but you take it ludicrously because you only understand what’s common. When I joke about facts, you never laughed about it because for you, it is common sense. Now, I’m in front of you and talk about that stupid people are really smart but the way you look at me, it says that what am I talking about.

Do you all get it? Maybe not because you never thought that I would say things that could amaze you. You don’t think you’re smarter but you think I can’t be smart enough.

Have you heard about the Pet Rock? It is obviously a rock recognized and being taken good care of as a pet. It was developed by Gary Dahl who got the idea from his friends who always complain about their pets. It became a hit in 1975. He sold 1.5 million pet rocks and became a millionaire. And have you tried to visit PositivesDating.com? It is a website who offers matching services catering only to HIV-positive members. And in a few years they’ve attracted about 50,000 members.

They may be considered stupid ideas but in reality they can make big cash out of their certain concepts. If you have a problem about your pets because it takes a lot of your time, then have a pet rock. It does not litter and makes no noise. Stiff as a rock but it can roll. They could help at least those who are not prioritized by the community. In that website, even virtually, they have helped HIV-patients who considered themselves isolated to feel that they’re not alone and they could love. Has anyone of us thought of that?

Stupid people may be unlike everybody else because they have their own way of describing and understanding things. And it would be nice if one person would think twice when calling someone stupid. You’ll never know what they are good at unless you try to understand them. Not everything is this world are made by the smartest people. Not every invention is a creation of a very productive mind. Not every explanation can be easily understood when it is presented in a logical basis. Try to talk to whom you call “stupid” about their point of view in life. You may be surprise of their answers that are not logically applicable but certainly reality appropriate.

Now, I will ask you again. How was it? To listen to a stupid person’s speech that made all of you get the idea that behind the unclear and deep thoughts of such person lays an unexpected in-their-own-way intelligent beings. Have I convinced you? Then perhaps after all, I’m the smartest stupid.